Finding a Home

Friday, July 23rd, 2010
By: Brandon Bailor

I have moved around a lot.  So much of my “growing up” (physically, emotionally, and personally) has occurred in some diverse places in this world.  Mind you, I am not complaining.  As a result of this diversity and exposure, I feel that I have become quite a well rounded person.  I have learned a lot, seen a lot, grown a lot.  I can easily feel comfortable in many more varying situations than most people who have not had the opportunity to grow as I have.  But all this seems to have happened at a price.  What/where do I call home?  Somehow the events, people, and places that have formed me into who I am, have somehow cost me a loss of identity.  A paradox.

I am pretty sure I have found a home, and I think it is within reach.  Who knows.  In his past year this paradox has become more apparent, more prevalent, and more vital to solve.  Maybe it is age.  I am 37 now, how can I not be able to call anywhere or anything home?  Shouldn’t I be able to by now?  Aren’t most people settled into their identity and lives by this time?

Back to my theory of possibly finding it.  It is a world that I have been learning more about over the past few years.  Growing more and more fond of it with more exposure.  Sometimes in baby steps, and sometimes in huge bounds.  There are aspects in this world/place/situation that I have (in times past, or in other places) found difficult to deal with.  But in this specific place, those aspects don’t matter.  I have had glimpses of being a part of this place, and during those brief moments, I felt at home.  Totally comfortable, totally at ease, any and all troubles became insignificant.  Because in this place, I felt that I belonged, and when you belong, when you are home, everything will be okay, all problems will be able to be worked out, anything can be dealt with.  When you are home, you are safe from the world.  You are protected by, and made stronger by this sense of home.

I have seen it, I have felt it, I want it.  Only time will tell  ……

Category : General

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